By: Sharon Aron Baron
A Festivus pole went up at the City of Tamarac beside a manger scene and a menorah on Tuesday – at least temporarily.
Less than 24 hours after the Festivus pole was erected by Chaz Stevens and attorney/builder Tommy Wright, along with the Tamarac Parks and Recreation department, someone had moved it next to Santa Claus – nowhere near the religious display.
Mr. City Manager;
Apparently, there are some Elves on the Shelves over in Tamarac… As the Official Festivus Pole for the City of Tamarac was moved … Somehow it relocated itself from the religious cul-de-sac over to the North Pole.
Citing my possible concern that someone will damage, abscond, and/or mug my, er, pole, can you assign a 24/7 guard to oversee things.
You and I started off on such a good foot here… Don’t let your pissy staff bungle things up for us.
And, by the way, I intend to auction off that pole, with proceeds to support a Tamarac youth sports league.
Let me know.
The City Manager Responds:
I am away from the manger for the next few days and if the legends are true the elves misbehave beyond belief when this sort if thing occurs. My spies down in Bethlehem town tell me someone thought Jolly old St. Nic looked awfully funny clutching those PBR cans! However, this is wrong on a number of levels and the Festivus pole shall be returned to its rightful place or wherever you spotted it the other day! The poles’ safety is assured, but as an aside I must confide in you that one of the 3 Kings got lippy with some Tamarac Yutes yesterday and my spies tell me we are down to 2 Kings.
I’ll have to get back to you on which of our youth sports groups needs the most support.
Stevens, who considers himself a “militant Atheist” and a firm believer in the separation of church and state gained worldwide attention after placing a Festivus pole at the Florida State capital last week.
“In my own opinion, the holidays are whatever you celebrate,” said Shamar Ferguson who shrugged looking over the Festivus pole, which was now returned to it’s original location. Ferguson joked that he would have preferred the pole be made out of Ciroc Vodka instead.
City Manager Michael Cernech gave his approval for the Festivus pole to be erected in city hall when asked by Stevens in an email last week.
“Thank you for your email regarding our holiday displays. Festivus for the rest of us is alive and well in Tamarac! We have plenty of space for one of your custom made Festivus poles.” -City Manager Michael Cernech
Festivus, a well-celebrated parody, is a secular holiday celebrated on December 23, which serves as an alternative to participating in the pressures and commercialism of the Christmas and holiday season.
Festivus became part of worldwide pop culture after being featured on Seinfeld and includes a Festivus dinner and included practices such as the “Airing of Grievances” and “Feats of Strength” and the labeling of easily explainable events as “Festivus miracles.”
Showing he had a humorous side, the Cernech wrote, “On a personal note, I realize you like to construct your poles from Pabst Blue Ribbon cans, but I’m asking you to consider Hamm’s cans for Tamarac. While I’m not sure Hamm’s is commercially available any longer I do know it was in the PBR family and bit more tasty in my humble opinion.”
Stevens gained notoriety last year after negotiating with elected officials and installing a Festivus pole made out of Pabst Blue Ribbon cans outside of Deerfield Beach’s main fire station, next to a manger scene. However, this year, the city has since stopped allowing any religious displays on city property.
“I am hoping more cities stop allowing for the display of religious nuttery.”